elcome to the world of Divorce Myths. This is the world of Los Angeles Divorce Myths. This is almost universal but in California, a Community Property State these divorce myths are just that, myths. Statements and threats made by divorcing couples that are not true but are repeated over and over again by them.You hear it at restaurants, you hear people who heard them ask questions from friends and family and it goes on in private conversations between couples. I call these threats, objections and protests the divorce myths that although not true, are unfortunately believed by many who hear them.
If you have heard any of the below it may be time to contact our office at (310)994-9923.
- You are having a conversation with your husband or wife about potentially getting a divorce and he/she say before you see a red penny I will quit my job. Consider yourself lucky if they texted or emailed this to you. This is the realm of the bully and is usually a big bluff. There are many ways to go around this and the judge in your case will make sure the bullying quitter knows it.
- Another conversation might be like this: why pay for two lawyers. This might be fine if he/she has always been fair to you and you know there is nothing to hide. However, if the person who said it has controlled before, it might be a control move on their part. He/she will get to control the process and pick the amount and the type of advice you can get. Get your own lawyer and get someone who you feel comfortable with, someone who is interested with furthering your own interest only.
- How about this conversation: I made the money and its mine or that its my pension or its my or this…or its my that. Wrong, in California, most things earned or bought during the marriage belong not just to the person who bought or earned it but it belongs to BOTH of you. We are a community property state.
- Your attorney is at fault for this divorce costing so much. Any divorce attorney you ask will tell you the same thing and that is we need to see documents and proof before we can recommend anything. This might be coming from the same person who told you to lets just get one lawyer. In the absence of documents relating to work, finances and property a divorce lawyer cannot properly advice you on which path to take even the path to settlement.
- Here is another great conversation from the bullying type. You have not worked a day so you won’t get anything. Wrong again. Unless you signed a prenuptial agreement saying the same and it is a valid prenuptial agreement, everything during the marriage belongs to both of you. Remember we are a community property state.
- Here is another one. I got you on tape drinking (dancing, partying, out with a man/female, dating, boyfriend/girlfriend or whatever you can think of) or so and so saw you do this or that so back off or I will tell the court and you won’t get a dime or won’t see your kids. Family Judges have seen many things and are not so easily moved by them and we are a no fault stat meaning that you do not need to prove fault to get divorced. Absent a direct connection to your parenting ability, the judge will not take it seriously. In fact, in a child custody situation, it might even mean that the other person stating the myth is focusing on his/her self (adult issues) and not placing his/her kids needs first.
- I got more money and rather pay my attorney than you. There are legal ways around this, such as sanctions under the various California Family Codes and Attorney Fees.